Time-less

There's nothing to be angry about.

Nor is there anything to be sad about.

Yet, what is this strange feeling that I'm feeling now?
This strange indescribable feeling for overwhelming sadness and undescrible hatred.
Do I really hate? I dunno. I'm being to doubt myself.

The me so long ago...Would never apologize after a outburst.
But the me now...I apologize.
The me then never like to admit defeat.
The me now? Simply accepts defeat.

There's so much of me that has changed over the years.
Yet, no one seems to have noticed at all.
Do I want to continue being that same person in their eyes forever more?

Perhaps so. Because that's the me that is the most carefree.
And yet, the person that stands before them now, is actually a person who have began to thoroughly hate.

I don't feel like trusting anyone anymore.
Not because they have hurt me, but because I fear the pain that may come with them from trust.
It's a wonder, really, why I continue to hold them so dear to my heart.
When I have gave up all there was in reality.

I want to escape forever in that realm, where I can be the same carefree person again.
I don't want to be bogged down with all these hopes and expectations and all.
Do you see my pain? Do you see my worth?

I don't know what there is to feel anymore.
Should I feel glad, that you acknowledged my diginity and respect?
Or should I feel hatred towards you, for allowing other to throw away their dignity and all and also encouraged them to do more of it?

I hate to say all of this, but yes, I still do care about the final results.
Not because they are worth alot in this screwed up society, but because you allowed them to be on equal footing as I am.
I despise it. For these are the people who cannot climb up with their own strength.

So why? Why aid them? This is a world where the strongest survives and the weaks die.
Time will not tell anything. Not when you allowed them the upper hand.

Where am I to stand, when you gave them my place?

2 weeks till exams.

I hate you.